A Happy Wife A Happy Life

How many times have you heard that or even quoted that statement? Well on most counts that's a true statement. I've said it a lot of the years since being married. For the most part husbands if you can make you wife happy she in turn will do the same for you. However, in the same token wives it's a 50/50 situation it's not our husband's job to make us happy 100% of the time or your job to make your husband happy 100% of the time. Happiness has to be found within one's self and when that is accomplished you're able to in return make others happy effortlessly.

What I have come to realize is that if I'm not happy in my current situation what is it that I need to do to change that. We have to be accountable for our own happiness and not rest it on someone else's shoulders. Do a self examination of yourself to get to the root of what's causing you to be unhappy and allowing you to reflect that all around you. We have the power to change our environment by our thoughts which lead to action. However that all begins with tracking back to the source ad then finding the solution.

*Get connected to the vine which will guide you to self evaluation and allow you to really look in the mirror and see yourself. *Be open to what you discover and willing to take necessary steps to produce change. *Remember you are never alone and keep your ears tuned to heaven to hear what the Father is speaking. *Speak positive things in your life and you will begin to see those things manifest. *Be what you want to attract and you will soon see the happiness all around you.

I speak from experience and it's going to forever be a process it's not a transformation that will happen over night but with continued practice you will become a expert at making yourself happy. I've learned to take it one day at a time and appreciate that God loved me enough to give me a husband that's willing to take the journey with me. Also that neither of us are perfect, but if everyday we strive to be our very best with one another that is what will be reflected the best we have to offer. Our happiness depends on us as individuals and when we are happy with ourselves we bring that to our marriage and produce a fulfilling union.

Kiss every chance you get. Hug him like you mean it! Having a goal helps us make choices that free us. What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
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Black women smile

Kiss every chance you get. Hug him like you mean it! Having a goal helps us make choices that free us. What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
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Plug in to God's Power

Nearly every home in America is wired for electricity. Walls are covered with receptacles that deliver the electric current. In order to take advantage of the power, something must be plugged in to the receptacle. The receptacle is the female, and the plug is the male.

Like receptacles, women were made to be receivers. Men were made to be givers-physically, sexually, and emotionally. The woman was fashioned out of the man to complete his purpose, to be a helpmeet. She helps him meet and accomplish his task. Take the power saw, for example. A power saw has great potential for cutting. However, it is ineffective until it is plugged in. The receptacle helps the power saw meet its purpose. Without the receptacle, the saw, though mighty, remains limited.

There is a certain vulnerability about being a receptacle. By nature, women are wide open; men are closed. You must be careful what you allow to plug in to you and draw strength from you. The wrong plugs can drain your power.

God recognizes your vulnerability; therefore, He has designed a plan whereby a man who plugs in to a woman sexually must have a covenant with her. God never intended for anyone to have casual sex. His design always included the commitment of a covenant. He planned for men and women who are joined together sexually to be committed for life. Nothing short of this commitment meets His standard.

God wants a woman to be covered like an outlet is covered, in order that no one tamper with her intended purpose. The married woman is covered by her husband. The single woman is covered by her chastity and morality. It is dangerous to be uncovered.

In Genesis 3, we see that Eve allowed herself to be uncovered by Satan, who plugged in to her desire to see, taste, and be wise. The enemy took advantage of her weakness. Be careful whom you let uncover you. The wrong person can lead you to complete destruction.

Be on your guard. There is a special conflict between women and the enemy. He is attracted to you because he knows that you were designed to help meet someone's purpose. If he can get you to help meet his purpose, you will belong to him and not to God.

If godly women do not learn how to start praying and doing effective spiritual warfare, they will never discern what is plugging in to them. Pray to be plugged in to the mighty power of God's Spirit. He alone can overcome the enemy's strategy to bring you down.

Kiss every chance you get. Hug him like you mean it! Having a goal helps us make choices that free us. What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
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Marriage will not always be peaches and cream

I wanted to let couples know that marriage will not always be peaches and cream. I know that going into marriage a lot of couples think that once they say I do it's going to be a fairytale. Well I'm here to tell you that there will be times where you won't be able to stand your spouse, but it's in those times that you realize what your relationship is really made of. So many women go into marriage with unrealistic expectations and when their partner does not measure up to the perception they have in their head their ready to call it quits. I'm here to give you some tips to have that fairytale 95% of the time because remember you both are different individuals even though you are suppose to consistently be working to be on one accord in the real world that won't always be possible. We are individuals with different opinions and most of the time are not afraid to voice them and that will certainly lead to confusion in the home.

1. Learning how to compromise with your spouse is one of the biggest things that I can advise to any couple. I know that most women are use to getting their way and saying it's my way or the highway. If you go into a relationship with that type of mentality you will find yourself by yourself. Once you stand before God and say I do you are taking a vow for better or for worse and that you vow to be one. With that being said you have to learn how to lay your wants to the side and if you begin to take care of your spouse and the other spouse does the same you are both working together to make sure that each others needs are met and you will find that you won't have to compromise as much. If your wife wants you to sit and watch a cheesy show or movie with her or if your husband wants you to go shot pool with him take one for team and remember it's not about what you're doing but it's about spending time with the person you love and ensuring that the bond stays strong.

2. Be your spouses biggest cheerleader you have to be behind your partner with everything you got because that allows them to dream and for those dreams to manifest. If you don't believe in one another how will you ever be able to be all that God called you all to be as a union that God ordained. When you enter into a marriage it's no longer my it's our and you have to always have that in the forefront of your mind in everything you do. Everyone wants to be told that their doing a good job, and wants to know that you're acknowledging their efforts. Whenever you don't water the dreams of your spouse you slowly kill their desire to dream anymore and the end result is a life full of resentment and angry.

Ephesians 5:25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

3. Always remember to make time for another that is one of the most tips I can give. I remember on our wedding day when my daddy gave his speech to me and my new husband and he stated that "these two are always together one could not go anywhere without the other" I laugh every time I hear it when we watch our wedding video. But we took that same behavior into our marriage we love spending time with one another. No matter what it is if it's taking a walk at the park, playing tennis, going to the grocery store, or just sitting around talking and watching t.v. You learn to appreciate the little things that so many people take for granted you have to learn how to just enjoy one another.

4. Never use sex as a weapon to punish your spouse. This is something that most women do to get back at their husbands for something that they did not do or if there was an argument that did not go your way. The Bible stays that once you get married your body is no longer yours it's your spouses so in all reality you no longer own your body it's your spouses. Sex is a need not a want and it's a privilege to be the one to fulfill that need of your husband. Not to say that it's suppose to be a chore because when you and your spouse are intimate with one another it should be a beautiful thing and if you go into it with the mindset that you are expressing love with one another and that makes it wonderful.

1 Corinthians 7:2-6 Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.

5. Let you husband be the king of his castle. Learn how to submit to your spouse and that's not saying that you bow down to him but it's saying allow your husband to lead the home. God never intended for the women to be the man of the home or to carry that burden. I know that nowadays a lot of women are so independent that they make men feel unwanted because they say I can do this by myself. Even if you're use to doing things on your own you have to reprogram you mind and heart to know that once you said I do that you said you believe he can take care of you so let him.

I hope that these tips are helpful to those that read them and put them into action in your marriage. I know from experience things that have worked in my home with my marriage for the past 14 years and together for the past 22 years. God has truly done a great work in our marriage and I'm certain that without him being the third cord in out marriage we would not be able to do this thing called marriage. I can truly say that as each and every day that goes by I love my husband more and more daily. I'm certainly learning how to make our marriage peaches and cream everyday. Here's to love and a lasting marriage!!

Kiss every chance you get. Hug him like you mean it! Having a goal helps us make choices that free us. What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
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Balancing Family Life!!

5 Powerful Tips to A Successful Marriage

I wanted to come and take a minute to wrote a post about maintaining a successful marriage for years to come. Me and my husband Cleavon have been married for what will be 14 years this November. But we have had the pleasure of sharing each other lives for more than 20 years. We have been pledged to find each other and know that we are what God designed in soul mates it's not to brag but when God has joined it and predestined it the blessings are amazing..

I know that everyone when considering marriage thinks to themselves what does it take to make a marriage have longevity and not just that but still be able to stand each other year after year. And to be honest I didn't always feel like me and my husband were going to make it, and I'm sure if you're honest with yourself you can say the same. But the difference between a thought and reality is that I was committed to success in my marriage and committed to do whatever it required for us to be the example to our children of what it meant to be totally committed and sold out for another person. I decided from the beginning that there was no one else that was in this world for me. It took my other half a while to realize that he had his wife in his midst all he had to do was ask and it would have been a YES at the top of my lungs. LOL.

What I want to share is that it's not always going to be easy but you have to make up in your head and heart that no matter what this is going to work and I'm going to do my part to ensure it will. So with that being said here are 5 thing that me and my husband implement in our marriage and it has certainly meant the world to us going forward in harmony..

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1. Always keep God as the third cord in your marriage because with out God your marriage is sure headed to disaster. If you are having a issue with you spouse instead of complaining to your partner about it take it to God in prayer and allow your Father to correct what needs to be corrected instead of nagging or complaining to your partner. That's a sure fire why to keep peace in the home and the devil out of your union..

2. Date one another just because you said I do does not mean that the romance is over. You have to still make time for one another where it's just time for the 2 of you to just be in each others presence. It does not always have to be a night out on the town either, as you all begin to do this on a weekly basis you will see it is not about the place as much as the person that you're with. And don't get me wrong it is always a plus to sweep her/him off their feet with a romantic date or getaway and will certainly earn your brownie points for later..

3. Communication is a big part of any marriage without it you're not going to be able to do it. Most people think that communication means talking but no that's not at all what communication means. It's being able to talk with one other one at a time and the other truly listening to what the other has to say clear of their comeback to what is being expressed. Now if you both master this you will have a line of communication that will allow you to thrive for years to come. Because remember when it's all said and done you took vows to love this person for better or worse, richer or poorer etc. so take that vow serious and take the time to sit down and really communicate with one another..

4. Never go to bed upset with one another this is something that me and my husband vowed to each other from the very beginning. When you go to bed upset with one other all that does is create strife in the home which leads to a very long night. Trust me I know I'm speaking from experience because yes sometimes I allowed myself to be so upset that I did not want to talk or even be in the same bed with him. But what we quickly realized is that if we wanted a good nights rest let's straighten this out now and that it's not solving anything by going to bed mad. The only thing that resulted in is time to thinking about if this is what I have to look forward to and do I want to deal with this. So in order to kill all that quickly admit your part in the disagreement and forgive and move on to continuing to grow with each other..

5. Learn how to compromise with one other you are not always going to get your way in life or in marriage. This was a big thing for me because I was raised as the baby of the family and was use to getting my way. This is also a part of maturing in life as the bible states when I was a child I acted as a child, well now you're an adult and you have to grow up. I'm not saying that you always have to be the one to compromise it should be shared because you are no longer two your are now one and that is how you should be acting. .

I can go on and on with great tips that have allowed me and my husband to be the best of friends and be more in love with one another today then when we got married. But that's all I will share for now but please do come back and check out my blog for I will be sharing more valuable information that I hope you will take and implement into your marriages to have a love story like no other and be able to be an example of the couple God created marriage to look like..

Kiss every chance you get. Hug him like you mean it! Having a goal helps us make choices that free us. What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
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1 Corinthians 13:4-7 The Message (MSG) 3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up..

Love cares more for others than for self..

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have..

Love doesn’t strut,.

Doesn’t have a swelled head,.

Doesn’t force itself on others,.

Isn’t always “me first,” .

Doesn’t fly off the handle,.

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,.

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,.

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,.

Puts up with anything,.

Trusts God always,.

Always looks for the best,.

Never looks back,.

But keeps going to the end.

Why do men STOP Pursuing Once They Get Married?

A quick question that I felt needed to be posed to husbands about romance.

I heard someone once say that a woman defines romance as the feeling of being continually pursued. What do you think about that?”

“I don’t think that is very realistic, or practical,”. “A man can’t continually pursue a woman. Why should he? A man pursues a woman, but at some point, she has to make a decision to marry him or not. To let herself be caught or walk away. A decision has to be made. The pursing has to stop at some point.”

“And I think that is one of the problems in marriages today,”. “The man stops pursuing the woman’s heart after she says ‘I do’.”

“You pursue something to catch it. When you get married, that means you caught her.”

“I know it doesn’t make sense to a man,”.“But a woman wants to continually feel pursued. Maybe that’s why married women escape with movies like Pride and Prejudice or get absorbed in Romance novels. They are trying to grasp for, cling to, or stir up that feeling of being pursued. But for a guy, after the ink on the marriage license dries, it seems the man thinks the need for pursuit dries up as well. The bride and groom walk across the moat of singleness, into the castle of marriage, and he pulls the drawbridge up as if it’s a done deal. The End.”

“But a man can’t spend his life pursuing someone he’s already captured,”.

“Why not?”

Not so with God. He gets it. He does it.

C. S. Lewis, in his work, The Weight of Glory, argued that the most fundamental thing is not how we think of God but rather what God thinks of us. “How God thinks of us is not only more important, but infinitely more important.” God thinks that you are worth romancing with glory moments to capture your heart time and time again.

The question is, do we get it? Do we see God’s continual wooing of our heart? Daily? Hourly? Do we recognize the romance of God in the routine of life?

Right smack dab in the middle of writing this chapter, God sent me a love note. I stopped writing, turned aside, and paid attention. Then I opened by journal and jotted it down. It may seem out of place here, but I want to show you how God can interrupt and infuse your life with sudden glory moments. Some ridiculously outrageous and others relatively subtle.

When you expect God to make His presence known, you begin to see His hand and hear His voice in moments of sudden glory—as you live and move and have your being in Him. Signs of His presence brighten even the dullest days when you have eyes open to see. When you tune your senses to God’s timbre, you begin to hear His song. Receptivity and attentiveness are the frequency of His voice. Hearing God’s voice and sensing His presence is not difficult, but it is otherworldly. So pay attention to His advances. He rejoices when you glance His way.

Kiss every chance you get. Hug him like you mean it! Having a goal helps us make choices that free us. What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.