Marriage will not always be peaches and cream

I wanted to let couples know that marriage will not always be peaches and cream. I know that going into marriage a lot of couples think that once they say I do it's going to be a fairytale. Well I'm here to tell you that there will be times where you won't be able to stand your spouse, but it's in those times that you realize what your relationship is really made of. So many women go into marriage with unrealistic expectations and when their partner does not measure up to the perception they have in their head their ready to call it quits. I'm here to give you some tips to have that fairytale 95% of the time because remember you both are different individuals even though you are suppose to consistently be working to be on one accord in the real world that won't always be possible. We are individuals with different opinions and most of the time are not afraid to voice them and that will certainly lead to confusion in the home.

1. Learning how to compromise with your spouse is one of the biggest things that I can advise to any couple. I know that most women are use to getting their way and saying it's my way or the highway. If you go into a relationship with that type of mentality you will find yourself by yourself. Once you stand before God and say I do you are taking a vow for better or for worse and that you vow to be one. With that being said you have to learn how to lay your wants to the side and if you begin to take care of your spouse and the other spouse does the same you are both working together to make sure that each others needs are met and you will find that you won't have to compromise as much. If your wife wants you to sit and watch a cheesy show or movie with her or if your husband wants you to go shot pool with him take one for team and remember it's not about what you're doing but it's about spending time with the person you love and ensuring that the bond stays strong.

2. Be your spouses biggest cheerleader you have to be behind your partner with everything you got because that allows them to dream and for those dreams to manifest. If you don't believe in one another how will you ever be able to be all that God called you all to be as a union that God ordained. When you enter into a marriage it's no longer my it's our and you have to always have that in the forefront of your mind in everything you do. Everyone wants to be told that their doing a good job, and wants to know that you're acknowledging their efforts. Whenever you don't water the dreams of your spouse you slowly kill their desire to dream anymore and the end result is a life full of resentment and angry.

Ephesians 5:25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

3. Always remember to make time for another that is one of the most tips I can give. I remember on our wedding day when my daddy gave his speech to me and my new husband and he stated that "these two are always together one could not go anywhere without the other" I laugh every time I hear it when we watch our wedding video. But we took that same behavior into our marriage we love spending time with one another. No matter what it is if it's taking a walk at the park, playing tennis, going to the grocery store, or just sitting around talking and watching t.v. You learn to appreciate the little things that so many people take for granted you have to learn how to just enjoy one another.

4. Never use sex as a weapon to punish your spouse. This is something that most women do to get back at their husbands for something that they did not do or if there was an argument that did not go your way. The Bible stays that once you get married your body is no longer yours it's your spouses so in all reality you no longer own your body it's your spouses. Sex is a need not a want and it's a privilege to be the one to fulfill that need of your husband. Not to say that it's suppose to be a chore because when you and your spouse are intimate with one another it should be a beautiful thing and if you go into it with the mindset that you are expressing love with one another and that makes it wonderful.

1 Corinthians 7:2-6 Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.

5. Let you husband be the king of his castle. Learn how to submit to your spouse and that's not saying that you bow down to him but it's saying allow your husband to lead the home. God never intended for the women to be the man of the home or to carry that burden. I know that nowadays a lot of women are so independent that they make men feel unwanted because they say I can do this by myself. Even if you're use to doing things on your own you have to reprogram you mind and heart to know that once you said I do that you said you believe he can take care of you so let him.

I hope that these tips are helpful to those that read them and put them into action in your marriage. I know from experience things that have worked in my home with my marriage for the past 14 years and together for the past 22 years. God has truly done a great work in our marriage and I'm certain that without him being the third cord in out marriage we would not be able to do this thing called marriage. I can truly say that as each and every day that goes by I love my husband more and more daily. I'm certainly learning how to make our marriage peaches and cream everyday. Here's to love and a lasting marriage!!

Kiss every chance you get. Hug him like you mean it! Having a goal helps us make choices that free us. What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
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