Why do men STOP Pursuing Once They Get Married?

A quick question that I felt needed to be posed to husbands about romance.

I heard someone once say that a woman defines romance as the feeling of being continually pursued. What do you think about that?”

“I don’t think that is very realistic, or practical,”. “A man can’t continually pursue a woman. Why should he? A man pursues a woman, but at some point, she has to make a decision to marry him or not. To let herself be caught or walk away. A decision has to be made. The pursing has to stop at some point.”

“And I think that is one of the problems in marriages today,”. “The man stops pursuing the woman’s heart after she says ‘I do’.”

“You pursue something to catch it. When you get married, that means you caught her.”

“I know it doesn’t make sense to a man,”.“But a woman wants to continually feel pursued. Maybe that’s why married women escape with movies like Pride and Prejudice or get absorbed in Romance novels. They are trying to grasp for, cling to, or stir up that feeling of being pursued. But for a guy, after the ink on the marriage license dries, it seems the man thinks the need for pursuit dries up as well. The bride and groom walk across the moat of singleness, into the castle of marriage, and he pulls the drawbridge up as if it’s a done deal. The End.”

“But a man can’t spend his life pursuing someone he’s already captured,”.

“Why not?”

Not so with God. He gets it. He does it.

C. S. Lewis, in his work, The Weight of Glory, argued that the most fundamental thing is not how we think of God but rather what God thinks of us. “How God thinks of us is not only more important, but infinitely more important.” God thinks that you are worth romancing with glory moments to capture your heart time and time again.

The question is, do we get it? Do we see God’s continual wooing of our heart? Daily? Hourly? Do we recognize the romance of God in the routine of life?

Right smack dab in the middle of writing this chapter, God sent me a love note. I stopped writing, turned aside, and paid attention. Then I opened by journal and jotted it down. It may seem out of place here, but I want to show you how God can interrupt and infuse your life with sudden glory moments. Some ridiculously outrageous and others relatively subtle.

When you expect God to make His presence known, you begin to see His hand and hear His voice in moments of sudden glory—as you live and move and have your being in Him. Signs of His presence brighten even the dullest days when you have eyes open to see. When you tune your senses to God’s timbre, you begin to hear His song. Receptivity and attentiveness are the frequency of His voice. Hearing God’s voice and sensing His presence is not difficult, but it is otherworldly. So pay attention to His advances. He rejoices when you glance His way.

Kiss every chance you get. Hug him like you mean it! Having a goal helps us make choices that free us. What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.